Let’s talk about the “Mommy Wars!” I have oh so much to say on this topic, but whenever I try to get it all into words, I always feel like I come up short. But, in the past 24 hours I came across some links that speak pretty well for me.

I check in over at Mombian every now and again, and last night I saw this link under “Favorite Posts.”

“Like most observers of a war that doesn’t directly involve them, I thought I was safe. The “Mommy Wars” pitting employed mothers against stay-at-homes, accusing the latter of betraying feminism, didn’t seem to apply to me. While I was indeed a stay-at-home mom, I thought that by doing so as a lesbian I was transforming the institution, and thus had a special protection against any claims of feminist sell-out.”

It’s as if Mombian took the words right out of my mouth — We are so transforming the institution! Rock on, sista!

Mombian fights back against the idea that gays and lesbians who stay home with their children are just as guilty/wrong as those heterosexual stay at home moms, and does so quite effectively!

“…many of us are creating our own types of family roles and relationships, not merely imitating a tired heterosexual stereotype. Furthermore, far from stifling our creative juices, motherhood gives many of us an inspirational jolt.”

The idea that being a stay at home parent makes you weak, vulnerable and stifled needs to be laid to rest. Families need to make their own choices and do what is best for them. If a parent is forced to stay home when they truly desire a career, that is one thing (then you could absolutely argue that he or she was being stifled), but when a man or woman makes the choice to stay home with his or her children because that is what they desire, that choice should be just as respected and revered as the choice to work full time. We as a society need to stop devaluing the life choices of others.

Next up, I was greeted this morning by this story on Yahoo about how much it would cost to hire people to do all the work that stay at home moms do on a yearly basis. This is old news to me, but very much worth remembering. Stay at home parents contribute invaluable services to their families.

Finally, a sign of hope for the future: This article claims that the work force is changing! I am a huge advocate for changing the work force. We work too much in this country and something has got to give. Moms and dads need to be able to balance work and home - and it’s the work force that needs to change in order to allow for that balance.