just your average feminist, lesbian, stay at home mom
So…in spite of my good intentions, I seem to have fallen off the Blog Challenge wagon. Oops.
Things have been a bit busy ’round these parts, with my wife working a ton, nap issues, and H becoming a bona fide toddler.
More soon.
Happy summer. Happy marriage equality NY!
Day 15 – What was your college experience like? Were you involved in any clubs, groups, etc?
My college experience was overall positive, though short-lived. I went away to school – from Massachusetts to Pittsburgh, PA. I very much felt the need to get the heck out of where I came from and blaze my own trail. It felt very exciting to live some place new, where I did not know anyone.
I wasn’t very keen on dorm life, though I had a great roommate. I enjoyed some of my classes, and loathed others. I had a wonderful time socially, quickly becoming very involved in the campus LGBT group and making lots of fabulous friends (and I do mean fabulous!).
I ultimately decided not to continue with my studies, after much hand-wringing and deliberation. I started out majoring in creative writing, specifically poetry. I toyed with minors/majors in Women’s Studies and Poli Sci. I think that if I’d had a specific career in mind that required a specific degree (like my wife for example – you need a degree in accounting to be an accountant!), it would have been different. But a lot of money was being spent (by my parents, and debt growing in my name) for a degree that was far and away from a guarantee of any kind of job that would pay it all back. That made me very uncomfortable. And though I was enjoying my social life, I was kind of disappointed by the academic aspect of school – I had really thought I would enjoy it more.
In retrospect, I still feel I made the right decision. The jobs that I’ve had since college are probably pretty much the same jobs I would have had if I had gotten that degree, and I really was much happier once I stopped attending school and started working full time.
I experienced a lot of valuable personal growth in college. I learned a lot about myself, and in particular, really came into my own with regard to my sexuality. Of course the best part of my college experience was that I met my wife!
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 13 – Tell us about the best job you ever had, and the worst
The best job I ever had was probably the last one I had. I was an executive assistant at a non-profit organization in downtown Boston. The office I worked in was lovely, my coworkers were fun and interesting, and the work was mostly enjoyable. My direct boss and I got along incredibly well and really became friends. Most days, work didn’t even really feel like work. It was really a pleasant experience, and I only wish I had found that job sooner!
My worst job was when I was an assistant at an investment bank. I just did not belong. I took the job, even though I wasn’t particularly interested in the industry because I needed it, and I had hit it off in the interview with one of the people who was going to be supervising me. Well, life lesson there – that person ended up quitting, and the job went from bad to worse. I was (mostly) uninterested in the work and my tasks were (mostly) boring. The hours and pay were good, so I stayed, but not for long.
Day 14 – How do you typically dress? How do you (or would you) like to dress your kid(s)?
I like to put together and comfortable now that I’m a stay at home mom. Though, as I write this, I am totally wearing yoga pants and a zipped sweatshirt, ha! Even though I don’t really have the occasion to get dressed most weekdays, I still do. I have a sweats day like today less than once a week (which I think for a stay at home parent is pretty good!).
I would describe my style as feminine and tailored, I think. I wear jeans a lot. In the summer, I like capris and casual skirts. I also love a good jersey dress. I would wear them almost daily if I had enough! (Though, nursing has complicated my dress wearing a bit.) In the colder months I wear a lot of darker colors – charcoal grey, brown, black, dark purple. And in the summer I’m all about pinks, melons, yellows, and oranges. I like bold color and prints, but always pair them with basic, solid colors. I love ballet flats and have them in black, red and light gold. My current favorite shoes are a pair of pewter sandals I got way cheap at Target.
I used to love accessories – especially necklaces and bracelets, nothing expensive, usually clearance rack or vintage finds in fun colors – but since having H, I barely ever wear jewelry.
As for dressing H, I really enjoy shopping for him. Boys’ clothes are so cute these days! I love putting him in bright colors and stripes. His clothes are all pretty boyish. I do stay (mostly) away from overly sports-themed stuff, just because it feels weird to put him in, say, football clothes, when we have no idea what sports, if any he will like, but really, you could say the same about anything (Does he like orange? Does he like stripes? I don’t know, but I’m the one buying the clothes!). I also don’t care for those shirts that have sayings like “Here comes trouble” or what have you. He wears a lot of stripes, and a lot of orange, green and blue.
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 12 – Tell us about the first time you got drunk (as far as you can remember…)
The first time I got drunk I was a young teen at an outdoor concert with my parents. Not a very exciting story! I was permitted to drink wine coolers (par-tay!), and proooobably had more than my folks planned to allow by just walking myself over to the cooler every time my bottle was empty. I wasn’t drunk like, vomiting drunk, just wobbly legs drunk, which my parents found quite amusing and we all had a lovely time.
The first time I got drunkity-drunk-drunk was at a big gay party in college, in what I believe was September of my freshman year. I was there with all my new gay friends, and lots of other gay people, drinking some kind of crazy fruit punch and booze concoction. We all got trashed and had a fabulous time. The next morning I felt like I had been hit by a bus, and a train, and a tank. We all reconvened at a campus eatery that day and chowed on greasy food and laughed about the previous night’s happenings, which may or may not have involved some rather public displays of affection by yours truly and some random girl who turned out to be a real weirdo who wouldn’t stop calling me for weeks after. Again – may or may not… Ah, college…
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 10 – Share your favorite recipe (or two)
I am allll about the crockpot. As I’ve mentioned, I have a crockpot cookbook that I love. Sometimes it is really a struggle to get dinner prepared with H underfoot, and the crockpot allows me to prep a yummy meal in a very short amount of time, and then it cooks all day while we go about our business. C and I both love Asian-inspired dishes, and this is one of our faves:
Broccoli Beef
Directions:
- Add liquid ingredients to the crockpot
-Stir in garlic and spices
-Add meat, toss to coat
-Cook on low for 6-8 hours
-30-60 minutes before serving, add entire bag of broccoli, cover and cook on high
-Serve over brown rice
This is so, so delish, and as is true for most crockpot meals, even tastier the next day for leftovers!
Day 11 – In what ways does being a lesbian/2-mom family impact your experience of parenting?
Hmm… I just asked C for back up on this one. Her response? “I don’t know what it’s like to be a straight parent, so…” I kind of feel the same way. In my day to day parenting, I don’t really think about it.
I guess I do think about it more in social situations. H and I do some activities together, like a music class, and a social group for earthy-crunchy mamas, and there is always a time when we come out, and it is sometimes awkward. Especially when the impetus is someone asking something about H’s dad/my husband, like, “Does your husband have blond hair?” (I am often asked that question!) For some reason, I always, always stumble on my answer! In my mind, I have my prepared answer: “My wife is a redhead, but she didn’t do any of the work!” But I usually only manage to get that out after stammering some nonsense. One time, I even said something about the donor, which was weird. In my mind I was like, Why on earth am I talking to a stranger about the donor?? But I can’t help it, the dad/husband questions tend to throw me for a loop.
Something else that we both have noticed is that in public, people don’t assume us to be a family. I mean, unless they see C and I showing affection, though we’re not super big on PDA. But just sitting in a restaurant eating? Or strolling down the street? I think people assume he belongs to one of us (whoever is holding him), and don’t even register us as a family. Which can feel weird. I’m sure this will change as H begins talking and calling us both Mom.
Also, H is still too young to understand that he has two moms and most other kids don’t, so we haven’t even dipped our toe into that pool of potential issues. I’m interested to see what other bloggers doing the challenge have to say about this one!
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 8 – If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
Spanish or Women’s Studies.
As I mentioned in Day 2′s post, I regret not continuing Spanish classes. There was a time when I wanted to be a Spanish teacher, but I ultimately decided to pursue other interests. I don’t regret not becoming a Spanish teacher, but I do think that it is a job I would enjoy.
In college, I became very interested in Women’s Studies and considered pursuing it and becoming a teacher. I did not end up taking that path either, but again, I think it’s something I would enjoy.
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 7 – What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? If you have children, what are their favorites?
Breakfast: French toast topped with fruit and maple syrup and corned beef hash. Something sweet, and something savory – perfect.
Lunch: Since I’m feeling summery with the lovely weather we’ve had lately, I’ll say a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and pasta salad.
Dinner: I’ll stick with my summery theme here… Shall I include an appetizer? Yes, I think I shall. Start with caprese salad – big juicy slices of tomato and fresh mozzarella drizzled with balsamic. And for the main course, steak on the grill or lobster, mashed potatoes, and roasted broccoli. Round it all off with a slice of chocolate cake and roll me into bed.
Um, now I’m starving… I’m very food-oriented these days. Nursing a toddler makes Mommy HUNGRY!!
As for H, he only recently started really eating, is still eating small amounts (hence the ravenous Mommy – still eating for two!!), but there are some things he really enjoys.
H’s Breakfast: Fruit (maybe pear, watermelon, strawberries), yogurt, applesauce
H’s Lunch: Hummus on pita, sliced red or orange peppers, fruit, yogurt
H’s Dinner: Hummus on pita, broccoli, green beans
Hummus is pretty much H’s favorite favorite!
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 6 – When was the last time you tried something new? What was it and what was the result?
Last week I made tofu for dinner!
C and I are meat eaters. We try to eat healthy, and are both interested in cutting back on our meat intake. We don’t really have any desire to go totally veg, but know how good it would be for our bodies and the planet to decrease the amount of meat in our diets.
On occasion, we do have vegetarian meals for lunch or dinner, but we don’t have any meatless meals in regular rotation. Last week I finally decided to choose a recipe from the vegetarian chapter in one of my favorite cookbooks, Make it Fast, Cook it Slow, and go for it.
I made Honey and Orange Tofu, and it was delish!
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 5 – What do you prefer to do on your birthday? If you have children, what do you prefer to do for their birthday?
I was actually just thinking about this, as my birthday is next month, and my wife is going to be off of work that week! I like to do something special, but relatively low-key on my birthday with C, and now H. Usually go out to eat at a favorite place, maybe do some shopping if I’m in the mood for that, spend some time outside if it’s nice out, and of course eat dessert! I have quite the sweet tooth and what better excuse to indulge than my birthday??
For H’s birthday, he’s only had one so far, but we had a family party for him, which was terrific. Next year, I think I’d like to have a play-date party for him, with all his little pals – we’ll see! Also, we had him open his gifts from us on his actual birthday (instead of at his party), which I’d like to continue to do. I’ve been taking a picture of him in the same spot on his birth date, the third of each month, since he was born. As he gets older, I won’t take them monthly anymore, but I would like to take one yearly.
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
Day 4 – What has most surprised you about parenthood?
I think that what has surprised me most is how much it has effected my marriage. Now I want to be careful not to paint a negative picture here – C and I adore H, are thrilled to be his mommies, and would not trade him for anything. But I did not anticipate that having a child would make my marriage something I had to work for.
I have blogged before about how I find marriage to be easy because I am married to the right person. I still believe that is true, however, things become slightly less easy when you suddenly have a human being who is completely dependent on you, and requires a great deal of attention and care 24/7. I knew going into motherhood that my child would require 24/7 attention and care, of course, but I didn’t really think about the fact that that might take away from the attention I would like to be giving to my wife, and the fact is, sometimes it does.
We now have to make more of an effort than ever before, because if we don’t make time for “us,” we may never get it. Whereas before, we had nothing but time for “us.” So it makes sense that it would be a little challenging.
Lots of things about parenthood have not surprised me. I knew I would be madly in love with my little guy, and I am. I knew I would love being at home with him, and I do. I knew sometimes being home with him would be hard, and it is. I knew sometimes I would get tired and feel like I need a little break, and I do. I knew being a mother would be amazing and fulfilling, and it is.
*This post is part of a Blog Challenge. Each day in June 2011, I will blog about an assigned topic.*
