New Gay Heroes: Portia de Rossi

It’s been months since I posted an installment of New Gay Heroes. I’ve had a couple of posts for the series in mind for quite some time, but just haven’t gotten around to actually writing and posting them.  This weekend, though, I saw a little snippet on the Huffington Post that lit a fire under me to get going. So without further ado…

Portia de Rossi

It’s true that when we think of famous lesbians, the first blonde to come to mind might be her wife, but Portia de Rossi is surely a New Gay Hero in her own right.

She and wife Ellen do wonderful things for lesbian visibility by being out, being themselves and sharing their lives with the public.  Whether they are  beaming in the glow of their engagement on the red carpet…

Sharing their wedding photos in People magazine…

Playing the Newlywed Game and speaking candidly about their life and love on Ellen’s talk show…

Or talking about equal marriage rights on Oprah…

Ellen and Portia are, together, such a wonderful positive representation for lesbians and same-sex marriage.

But on her own, Portia has this habit of appearing on talk shows and effortlessly and eloquently speaking about marriage equality.  Just last week, she quite calmly fielded the (at times bizarre) questions of the ladies at The View with poise:

The very same day she also stopped by Good Morning America, where she again spoke about her marriage to Ellen and equal rights (that starts at about three minutes in):

I just love the way Portia speaks about equal marriage rights with such grace and ease.  She makes it sound just as simple as it should – if we don’t have marriage, we don’t have equal rights.  Plain and simple.  Portia always manages to explain that marriage is different from being “partnered” or “unioned” or whatever other nonsense opponents of our rights try to sell us – and she always does it without breaking a sweat.

Portia de Rossi is a New Gay Hero for sure.

New Gay Heroes: Rachel Maddow

Rachel Maddow

Oh, Rachel.  Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. What can I say?  I have an enormous crush on Rachel Maddow.  Now, I don’t want my giant crush to color my characterization of Rachel as a New Gay Hero, so let’s just get it out of the way at the start, and then move on, okay?  Rachel Maddow is hot.  She is only made hotter by how incredibly smart she is.  And I am still in total disbelief that I get to tune into a super hot, self-proclaimed butch dyke talk about politics and current events on tv every night. Hot. Hot. Hot.  Okay – Ahem!  Now that that’s out of my system…

Rachel Maddow is a New Gay Hero for being herself on television.  Sure, she takes off the glasses (they do cover a lot of her face – no television producer would let a tv host, male or female, butch or femme, wear them on-air), and puts on a suit and some make-up, but you’d never mistake her for a girly-girl, and her look is still undeniably lesbian-ish.  And when she appears on talk shows, she’s 100% Rachel – glasses, sneakers, and her decidedly butch clothes.

In our culture, butch women are so often vilified, and Rachel is such a great shining example to combat all the negativity.

Rachel is not just a New Hay Hero for her looks, of course, she is truly a New Gay Hero for what she says.  When Barack Obama won the election in November, there was a lot of buzz about what the liberals would have to talk about now – Rachel has given us that answer.  She covers the Obama administration’s every move, applauding that which she thinks is worthy of praise, and examining in depth that which makes her uneasy.  Very recently, Rachel has been all over Obama’s lack of action on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell:

And DOMA:

As an entertaining tv personality, a positive representation for butch (and all) lesbians, and a watchdog for LGBT rights issues, Rachel Maddow is surely a New Gay Hero.

New Gay Heroes

When I saw the movie Milk, I cried all through the credits, and all the way back to the car. I cried for the loss of Harvey Milk and all that he could have accomplished, and also for my community’s lack of a leader, a leader with Harvey’s vision, drive, and ability to inspire. When we think of the face of gay rights today, who do we think of? I really don’t know the answer to that. There isn’t one person in particular who comes to mind. But in the months since I saw Milk, a few gay public figures have inspired me, in ways great and small.  And so I have decided to start a little feature here on the blog called New Gay Heroes.

New Gay Heroes will feature members of the LGBT community in the public eye that inspire, educate, or entertain in a way that I think is beneficial to our community.  New Gay Heroes are people that I am proud to see represent my community, and give me hope for our future.

So without further ado, my first New Gay Hero is:

Wanda Sykes

In November 2008, Wanda Sykes made her official coming out at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas.   She was moved by the passing of Prop 8 to go public.  In her speech at the rally, she said:

“We took a huge leap forward and then got dragged 12 feet back. I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked — our community was attacked.  Now, I gotta get in their face.  I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud to be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay.

They pissed off the wrong group of people.  They have galvanized a community. We are so together now and we all want the same thing and we shouldn’t have to settle for less. Instead of having gay marriage in California, no, we’re gonna have gay marriage across the country.”

Wanda isn’t a New Gay Hero just because of her empowering statements at that November rally, but also for her brilliant use of comedy as a way to share her life with the public – educating through laughter.

In May, Wanda was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  NBC won’t let me embed the video, but you can watch here (once the page loads you can click “Select Chapter” to watch Wanda’s two segments – which are totally worth sitting through a couple of ads, I promise!).  In her segments with Jay, Wanda talks about she and her wife Alex being new moms to twins.  She shared some hilarious tidbits about the twins’ birth by c-section, such as, “If the doctor tells you ‘Don’t look there,’ don’t look there!“  And when Jay commented that he prefers to be there for the conception rather than delivery, she responded ”I wasn’t even there for that!,” after which they and the audience erupted into laughter.

Wanda had a couple of great bits about parenting, which demonstrated (without spelling it out) that life isn’t that different for two moms as opposed to a mom and a dad.  On separation of baby duties, Wanda explained that since Alex is breastfeeding “She handles everything that goes in, and I handle everything that comes out.”  And on the difficulty of caring for multiples, she said ”I told my wife, if you ever find me in bed with another woman, you know I’m just there for a nap! I’m just trying to get some shut-eye!”

As an activist and a comedian, Wanda Sykes is such a positive figure for us to have on our side.  Seeing her on Jay Leno, talking about her wife and children just like any straight guest would, may not seem incredibly significant, but it is.  Sharing our stories helps people to understand us, and making them laugh in the process just makes it that much easier for them to relate.  And that’s what makes Wanda Sykes a New Gay Hero to me.

Equal Marriage in NH!

Today, New Hampshire became the sixth state to legalize same-sex marriage.  5 of those 6 are here in New England! (But don’t hold your breath for RI)

I can’t yet find any detailed information on the bill, like what kind of “protection” for “religious organizations” is included, but I’ll keep my eyes and ears open…

Congratulations New Hampshire!

What is the real deal in NH?

So we know that a marriage equality bill passed the New Hampshire Legislature earlier this month, and that the Governor said he would not sign the bill into law as it was. Here’s what 365gay.com has to say about where we are now:

The original marriage bill passed the legislature earlier this month, but Lynch said he would veto it unless it offered better protections to churches that oppose same-sex marriage.

The revisions approved earlier Wednesday in the Senate by a 14-10 vote would have made it clear that churches, church organizations and staff are protected from lawsuits if they refuse to permit same-sex marriages.

But when it went to the House in the afternoon, it was defeated by only two votes – 188-186.

The House then voted 207-168 to ask the Senate to negotiate a compromise with the governor instead of killing the bill.
[My emphasis]

This leaves us waiting (for who knows how long) for a compromise. My question is, what will the revised bill really mean?

I was always under the impression that no matter what the law, churches and religious organizations had the right to deny anyone they wished from having their weddings within their doors. But then Vermont, Maine, and now New Hampshire started talking about putting protection for religious organizations in their marriage equality bills, which I thought was strange.  I thought it was a given that churches could continue to discriminate at will, but that maybe these provisions were being included to appease the religious right and make it clear that marriage equality was not a threat to religious organizations that don’t condone it.

Then I got this comment on my blog from Brenda:

 

Just wanted to let you and your readers know that the changes are not just for performing ceremonies. The religious organizations automatically have that provision. What the changes say are that social religious organizations, such as the Knights of Columbus, don’t have to rent their halls to same sex couples for their ceremonies or receptions. It also adds an amendment that allows religious organizations such as hospitals (St. Mary’s) and Catholic Charities to discriminate against same sex couples. This means that if you are a same sex, legally married couple, these places can deny your spouse benefits if you work there, spousal privilege if you get hospitalized there and can deny you service if you need it. This is not right. Just thought you would like to know what we are settling for.

I tried to do some research, but am coming up empty-handed! The Human Rights Campaign doesn’t even mention this.  MassEquality has nothing. What is the deal?

Going back to the 365gay.com article I quoted above, they use the language ”permit same-sex marriages” – they don’t say “recognize same-sex marriage.”  I know it’s semantics, but in this case, the difference between religious organizations having the right to refuse to “permit” vs. “recognize” same-sex marriages is a big one!  It is the difference between my wife and I not being allowed to get married in a church (no complaints from me – there are plenty of religious organizations that do accept gays, if you are so inclined), and my wife not being allowed to come to my side if I were to be in an accident and rushed to a hospital that’s run by a religious organization that hates gays.  That is a HUGE difference.

So, okay, who has links?  Who has the answers? What the fuck is going on?

Equal Marriage in NH – It’s up to you, John!

Equal marriage rights in New Hampshire are now in the hands of Gov. John Lynch.

The bill passed the Senate and House, and now we are waiting for the Governor’s approval or veto…

C’mon John, all the cool kids in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, and Maine are doing it!!

Equal Marriage in Maine!

Today, Maine became the fifth state in the country to allow same-sex marriages! Four out of six New England states now have marriage equality.

Governor John Baldacci said of his decision to sign the equal marriage bill into law:

“In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions.  I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage.”

Well said, John.

Maine Senate Approves Marriage Equality Bill

Today, the Maine Senate passed a marriage equality bill 21-14.

The bill would repeal Maine’s DOMA and make marriage in the state gender-neutral, while still allowing religious organizations to refrain from performing same-sex weddings.

Next the bill must pass the House and the Governor’s desk…

New Hampshire Senate Approves Gay Marriage Bill

Today, the New Hampshire Senate passed for a marriage equality bill!

However, we are not done yet – the bill was amended to differentiate between civil marriage and religious marriage (so that churches and other religious institutions can continue to lawfully deny gay and lesbian couples from being married within their doors), so now this new version of the bill needs to go back to the House for a new vote.

Presumably, the bill will make it through the House that passed it in its original form, and then the next hurdle will be the Governor, who has not said explicitly whether he would or would not veto a same-sex marriage bill.

A great step in the direction of New Hampshire becoming the 5th state with marriage equality!

The latest from New Hampshire

Some bad news out of New Hampshire: The Senate Judiciary Committee voted 3-2 yesterday against the equal marriage bill before the senate. This is just the vote of the Judiciary committee – the full Senate is yet to vote.

While digging for more info on marriage equality in New Hampshire, I found that the Senate Judiciary Committee also unanimously rejected a bill that would end discrimination on the basis of gender expression and identity yesterday. Again, the full Senate is yet to vote, but according to boston.com unanimous votes can be difficult to come back from.

I’m finding the latter vote particularly disturbing.  If you read the article I’ve linked to, the hearing included the testimony of a transgendered female New Hampshire corrections officer who was attacked and beaten on the basis of her gender identity.  Those who voted against the bill that would protect her and other transgender New Hampshire residents from discrimination claim they are against the bill because it would open all bathrooms to men or women.  Really? So it’s okay that transgender New Hampshire residents can be fired from their jobs, denied housing or in the case of this woman, beaten in the street - as long as we’re sure that no one is going to use the wrong bathroom???  Absolute absurdity.

All this kind of makes New Hampshire’s state motto, “Live Free or Die” seem a little empty, no?  Let’s hope both bills fare better before the full Senate.